Thursday, November 23, 2023

Finding a forgotten blog.

 


Well as you can tell by the date it's 2023, and Blogger has told me that I have an account that they are going to get rid of. It seems with everything that goes on in life you suddenly find this little bit that you have left behind.
 So this was totally forgotten by me.
How do you fill in the hole of an 18 year old blog?
 In those 18 years my daughter Dylan lost her life in 2010. Both my boys have grown up and gone their separate ways. I have a granddaughter. I am now divorced and now happily remarried.
 I think things got a little too tense with what happened to us if you read what happened in 2005 till 2010 with my daughter.
 Today is Thanksgiving 2013 and I have a lot to be thankful about.
 I am currently weeks away from retirement. This will be an early retirement so I can spend time with my wife. Lesa Has some health issues and I want to spend as much time as I can with her if she gets worse.
 I also AM debt free which means I don't owe anyone any money. Yes you have your everyday utilities you have to pay but my house and car and everything else is paid off. That's the way I can afford to retire.
I will  continue to add to this blog as I can and try not to wait 18 years before I do it again.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

25 years later-- John Lennon

John Lennon--

A name that many people remember as a Beatle. For me I was more into his solo works. It was the stark truth that came from this poet that I admired. He spoke his mind and lived the way he wished with the love of his life by his side. He didn't care what others thought about his wife and didn't follow in what the media wanted him to do.

I fell in love with John and his music around the time of Imagine. I was looking for a present for my brother and was in Eastwood mall looking at records. I saw the poster for Imagine and was ready to by it when my sister talked me inot buying something else for him. Months later my brother had the Ram 8 -track by McCartney and wanted more music like that. I knew about the Beatles but mainly from the movie Help being on TV. It was a big event when it came on TV.
I was over at my cousins and his brother had Imagine --after I heard it --I was stuck.

I had to get more from this guy.

I was obessed with John and it bled over to Yoko's stuff, since John performed on many of her Lps.
I play John's Plastic Ono 8-track over and over in my little VW till it broke.

The man was a legend, a piece of hisotry for the 20th century and I loved him for his music and how it spoke to me in my teen years.

I was been rare that I listne ot John's stuff after he died. Maybe i didn 't want to wear it out in my head or get bored with it, but the truth is that I just missed him when I heard it .
I didn't jsut miss him but maybe the times when I listen to it. John Lennon WAS the soundtrack of my innocent times as a teen.

The day John died I realized one thing. My life was on a fork and I didn't know which way to turn. My wife Susan was there and comforted me,since i was crying like a baby during that time.
She was now my stronghold and I took her as my new friend for the times ahead. I KNEW I loved her and that she was my rock. Months later we where married and the 25 years went fast.

25 years ago i lost a hero, but I gained a best friend.

Tuesday, November 15, 2005

it rains

When it rain-----

So the weekend was pretty good. Dylan’s mind was on other things—boyfriend problems. We had a visit from the brothers on Friday night and I was really pleased on how Dylan gave them her attention.

I was able to get a few websites built for clients and other work done. (Brake pads replaced)

Monday was the day things went bad –again.

Dylan saw 3 doctors. Two we had to do the deductible so that is 60 dollars out of our hands right there, plus parking and food. That is over 65 dollars. Hmmm 65 dollars- this is the amount I make too much for Dylan to get SSI disability. So we lose 7200 a year because I make 65 dollars too much.

Any way we found out that Dylan’s diaphragm is paralyzed on one side. This makes her breathing heavier and is dangerous.

Susan was beside herself and woke up in the middle of the night with a anxiety attack. So sleep was not too much last night.

Monday, November 07, 2005

A bit of calm

Funny how ones views change over time. I would never of thought my wife allow our 15-almost 16 year old ‘date’ till she was at least 18.

This past weekend the mood of the house was transformed from anger to one of acceptance and friendship. Susan and Dylan had a heart to heart after we came home from work on Friday. Susan now knows she doesn’t have a ‘little girl’ and that Dylan want to be involved in what’s going on with her surgery decisions. Dylan had to re-learn that her mom wants what is best for her and wants to protect her. Just because Susan will not be working anymore doesn’t mean that we can’t make ends meet.

That was Dylan’s biggest fear—that we would be hurting financially because of her. She didn’t want to be a bigger burden. Sure we will have a large financial hit… but we just have to trust in God that it will turn out OK.

With the weekend going OK I took Dylan out to a few yard sales to try to find some used speakers. It was time for her to not have to watch TV to listen to music. She was listening to her DVD player as a CD player thru the TV. I cleaned out my closet downstairs and found my receiver and gave it to her.

After not getting a call from her ‘boyfriend’ all weekend, Dylan was depressed - by regular teenager stuff.

My brother, Stan gave me a call and asked Dylan to come over to my parents house. It seems he and his wife as well as my parents went in together and bought her a laptop. This will be her ‘escape ‘ when in hospital. A DVD player, a internet connection and a way to listen to music. Dylan was thrilled and excited. ( On a side note, this would have been Stan’s daughter’s ,Samantha, 17th birthday. She died of cancer 5 years ago.)

On the way back home- Susan called and said that her boyfriend had called and that they where going to the Drive-in that night.

Susan took them and said that they had fun and Dylan was happy. So my wife who was very strongly against Dylan dating has seen that her daughter needs a little happiness and regular routine. Dylan needs to feel normal.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Dylan - a war without words

Hindsight- when did I become so popular?

We are now is a strange place at my house. Facing Dylan’s upcoming surgery, the tension in the air is so thick that you can cut it with a knife.

Dylan doesn’t want to talk to Susan. She sees too many things that ‘mom’ is trying to control. “It’s my body and I should have a say so in it.” She is 15 – but does she have the knowledge. Dylan’s nerves are on end.

Jeffrey, my 16 year old, sides with his sister and says she needs to talk with a shrink and get something for her depression.

Susan , who has taken over and run the medical gambit of Dylan for 16 years is now in different territory. ….and with it my loving wife is getting hit.

First dealing with a doctor who did not see the problem in the first place, and now changing mid-stream and praying that he knows what he is doing.

Second dealing with insurance, doctor bills and stupid people who don’t see a connection. Our regular doctor asked Dylan to do more exercise. Dylan needs to burn more calories? Foolishness.. we are feeding her to thru a g-tube to get more in her.

Third, teenagers. We had enough problems with Jeffrey and his ‘black stage’ but now this is too much for Susan. Dylan is taking a stand and just wants a pump to fed her. She has lost weight since the feeding tube has been put in.
So today, Susan quits work. She just got back into the work force a month ago. We have been struggling to get ahead just so went the bills hit we have some light. – So why should we expect any change in Susan being able to work?

Susan had a wonderful fulfilling job when Dylan was born. She was a child advocate for kids with disabilities. She loved helping out the kids who could not help themselves. Many where locking in rooms or closets because they where slow. The schools where happy to take the money for them, but did not help them in anyway.

Other jobs have come and gone but because to health problems, Susan jumps back in and takes charge. We are there again.

Susan has become very short with others right now and all are feeling it. She is crying at the drop of a hat. Lat night a creditor called wanting to get back for one of Dylan’s surgeries two years ago. It’s one that we almost lost her on surgery table because of LATEX. We heard nothing after all this and –boom- “we want 1700.00 dollars.” URGH~ What? -- “Can you pay that today?”

We have great medical… but because the surgery was not ‘completed’ Blue Cross doesn’t want to pay. – They had to stop or she would have died.

This did not set will with my wife and it went downhill since there.

My popularity comes from being downstairs in the quiet part of the house. Since I am an interesting but non-active party at this time it is like each person in the house has to campaign to get my side. My problem is that I see both sides and just want to be a listener.

Next we see if a feeding pump helps get weight up and if weekend in a tense house breaks anyone. Dylan has already called and asked Susan and her to have a talk….

Thursday, November 03, 2005

Dylan - a summary

~ Ok~

So here we are in week 783—give or take a week- of my daughter ‘s serious health problems. One week after surgery number 59!

To sum it up, my 3rd child, Dylan, was born without an esophagus and was operated on hours after being born. The first colon interposition ( make a esophagus out of intestines ) had too many problems. Lungs could not grow right, digestive system totally shut down, and feeding through a heart IV. After finding the “RIGHT” doctor we were on the road to recovery. After age 8 we had a few good years. At 14 things changed and we where back in hospital again with stretchings and dilatations.

The back doctor found scoliosis but said it was not enough to warrant alarm. ß wrong!

Dylan’s lungs are now down to 64 % working order. The curves have started crushing them down. We also have a 90% curve in esophagus. We now look to a spine fusion in Jan. The freak out is that it will be a front and back surgery to get where we need to be.

This is where we are and my wife Susan and I are really overwhelmed.

Susan has always been my rock and a wealth of knowledge. Her sudden shock and depression has got me worried as well.

Today we decided it was better if she did not work and we just let go and let God take it for here in regards to our finances. I will have to work a bit more on website and such to make the ends meet but I feel she needs to be home not only for Dylan but for herself and rest of the family.

What a long and rough road we have ahead of us.